Score: 9

"Your mom f*cks Playmobile pirates"

submission: Lunch Break

date: November 16, 2000

Fucking lol.
That was one of the funniest clips I've seen.
No real plot or point but a good demonstration of
what we can expect from this animator.
Reminds me of a R-rated Seinfeld clip.
The guy with hair is Jerry and the bald guy is George and the legless gimp is from Kids.
The voice acting sounds professional....

The graphics are great too.

Can't wait to see more from the author.

Score: 7

"STOP THE MONKEYS DAMNIT!"

submission: Monkey Capture

date: November 6, 2000

Although the plot is a little weak the graphics, humor and excellent use of music in this portal entry make it fun to play.

It's a little too fast on a Pentium III... nigh impossible to click the mouse that fast.

Still the game is amusing even though it's just reflex mouse clicking.

A few minor tweaks here and there and this entry would kick a lot more ass. I mean the normal monkeys were harder to hit than the supermonkeys!

And longer credits dude! Your team deserves it!
They scrolled by too quickly.
Can't wait for more submissions from the author and co. Kudos!

Score: 9

"Celebémon: Pokemon for the older kids!"

submission: Celebémon Tournament #1

date: November 6, 2000

Original, funny and entertaining.

This game is great! The only thing it needs is more interactivity (i.e. picking starting Celebémon and perhaps picking your fights) and more attacks.

The author of this entry obviously put a lot of effort into making celebrity Pokemon caricatures and the effort paid off.
The attacks for the Celebémons are all suitable for the celebrity they are making fun of.
The music is catchy too.

The game needs a continue feature in the future and there are a few freezing issues here and there but over all this game kicked ass.
The interface was great and the choice of fonts was suitable.

Can't wait till the next one!

Score: 9

"I want to be a flower delivery ninja!"

submission: St. Valentine's Day

date: October 27, 2000

This semi-interactive cartoon is hilarious.
The author makes good use of the images and sounds in this entertaining Valentine's Day adventure.
And it's got ninjas damnit!
The dialogue is wonderful and is hilarious to read- not like most of the poorly written portal entries I've seen.
My only complaint is that the fight scenes could have been more elaborate and that there were more options to choose from in the story arc.
Drink guiness!

Score: 5

"Pet the monkey? And who's Nikachu? Ooga!"

submission: High School Jocks Part 2

date: October 17, 2000

Plot: Guys kill people, cops come, guy sees monkey and falls in love with it. Cameo by Bucktooth.
Rather than study for midterms I decided to browse the bottom feeders of the portal- scores 2 and lower- when I came across this
submission "High School Jocks Part 2".
I expecting something obscene- perhaps something with cheap violence involving High School Jocks.
Instead, I encountered some odd shaky line animation and some catchy old music. Although this entry made no sense at all, I am ashamed to admit I enjoyed this submission.
Why? 1) It's not pornographic- too many Portal entries rely on this- that's what you get when you let sexually frustrated 14 year-old boys express themselves. 2) It's original- yes it's borderline dogshit and makes no sense but I'm pretty sure the author wanted it to be "cheap" 3) The music suits the animation- this movie would be 100% dogshit w/o the music
Now this portal entry isn't intellectually stimulating and the author didn't put any extra features in it (the movie just loops forever- I had to right click the bloody thing to stop it) but the whole thing is so damn cheap it's entertaining. Now you probably think I'm on crack. But I liked it and I'm not afraid to say it. It's zany and fun. So go on- flame me for liking it.